Hearts and Tears

My mom always told me that I wear my heart on my sleeve. To tell the truth I also wear it on my face and more than likely you can hear it my voice. I am a down right sucker for a sad story. I always wanted to grow up and become a child social worker, especially since I didn't think doing readings was a feasible day job. She told me I would struggle emotionally with social work because I would want to bring home every single misplaced child that crossed my path, and that I would be absolutely miserable. Of course I told her she was crazy, but I know she was right. Yet 90% of the people I come in contact with on a daily basis have a sad story. Some of them are similar, but many are very unique. The moment I think "I've heard it all" so to speak another story comes along that brings me to my knees. It is those stories, those true life events that movies are made and seen on Lifetime television that I manage to come in contact with regularly. In recent past I spoke with a mother who lost both of her children simutaneously. Was this the first time I had this situation cross my path? No. Will it be the last time? I hope so, but I doubt it. I spent most of the session fighting back tears. I could literally feel her pain. It's as if I take it on physically, and sometimes that feeling is hard to shake. You would think after all these years that I would become numb to such things, but I do not. I believe the reason for this is because if I became numb to such feelings I would lose my compassion. True compassion is attempting to put your self in another person's shoes. After this particular session I was left with mixed feelings. Usually I can go about my day without a batting an eye, but not this day. I was feeling good on one hand because this mother was given such a beautiful gift to receive validations and communication from her children, but I'm also left feeling empty because I can't fix her pain. There aren't enough bandages in the world to heal her wounds. The only thing I can offer her or anyone in grief is the truth that life goes on beyond this earthly plane and also validation of that truth by allowing loved ones in spirit to come through and confirm their liveliness in spirit form. It is my belief that when one is able to have this proved to them through a medium then the grief/healing process will probably be a little bit easier to move through. I will continue to wear my heart on my sleeve for the rest of my life, because you can't teach an old dog new tricks. (plus i really have this "thing" for hearts :) I will choose over and over again to fall to my knees and fight back tears for the rest of my life doing God's work as long as it means giving someone hope and belief that life does continue beyond this world and proving that death does not exist.....there is only transformation.
p.s. sometimes i just let the tears flow and cry right along with my client...another reason being a government social worker wouldn't have been a good choice. ;)
Peace and Love,
Chantal